The official Obama merchandise store isn’t aimed at the 99 percent, unless they can get enough selling plasma to buy that $74 tank top. You can’t imagine anyone in the OWS movement donning a $55 Rachel Roy flag shirt while toting a bucket of effluent to dump in a bank lobby. You can also buy nail polish sporting the Obama logo. As befits the most transparent administration in history, it probably turns opaque after it’s applied.
A big favorite: a $30 T-shirt that says “HEALTH REFORM STILL A BFD.” Readers not schooled in the pithy abbreviations of the text-speak may puzzle over that one a while. Beneficial Financial Decision? Boon For Democrats? Burgundy Floral Dress? Barking Fox Disease? Beautiful Fiscal Delusion? WHAT?
It means “Big [Blanking] Deal,” and it’s a quote from Joe Biden. It is vulgar, which is why the Left adores it. So honest! So direct! To unfurl the F-flag is a sign you’re not held back by any phony Victorian restraints, man — why, the people who covered up piano legs with pants because naked carved wood would incite lust in the menfolk were the same people who would swoon to the fainting couch if you spoke in the Brutally Honest Words of the People.
Granted, it’s not limited to the Left; Sarah Palin used the term “WTF” a few times in references to the president’s remarks, and she didn’t mean “Wipe That Formica.” The abbreviation “F” is the means by which the rest of the word will enter public conversation, until the president begins the 2040 State of the Union speech by announcing it is Effing Awesome.
You scoff. 2040? That long? Depends. By then the very letter itself could morph into an intensifying adjective unmoored from its original meaning, a frank feisty frickative sprinkled like salt –
You’re still scoffing. What? Oh, the piano-leg story? You’re right; it’s a myth. The story actually arose from an anecdote about prudish 19th-century Americans and was transplanted to those stiff repressed English people who invented corduroy prophylactics so they wouldn’t be tempted by physical pleasure. People believe the story today because the past is full of stupid people, and it’s fun to look back and point fingers and say “Ha ha! You thought the Sun revolved around the Earth because the pope said so. Dumb old dead people.”
It is necessary for progressives to disparage most of the past, because it is filled with people whose enlightenment was incomplete by the standards of March 14, 2012. If someone expressed forward-thinking ideas, he gets a pass, like the Catholic Church’s designation of Cicero as a Worthy Pagan. If somebody’s remembered for something essential to the progressive construct, like reproductive freedom, he can be excused for wanting to sterilize “defectives” and “Sons of Ham” and other inconvenient remnants of their benighted age. But for the most part, the past is a tale of powerful idiots squatting on the heads of the proto-proles, keeping them from standing erect, blinking in the sun of a new day, and trotting off to have an abortion at a union-run infanticide center located in the husk of a decommissioned church.