NR Digital

The Long View

Official Transcript: Larry Ching Live on CCTV

by Rob Long

September 9, 2011

Larry Ching: From Harbin, in Heilongjiang Province, ni hao!

Caller: Ni hao, Larry, and ni hao to your guest.

Larry Ching: Ni hao, caller. Do you have a question for the American secretary of the treasury, Mr. Geithner Tim?

Caller: I do, Larry, thank you. I’d like to ask Mr. Tim if he is regretful about the recent downgrading of American sovereign debt?

Larry Ching: Good question! What about it, Mr. Tim? But before answer, can call you Geithner? Is that too familiar?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: Well, Larry, actually, in English it’s reversed. So my first name is Tim and my second name is Geithner.

Larry Ching: How about that! Weird! Fun stuff! I am enjoying this nutty interview!

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: If I may, to answer your caller’s question, I am of course regretful about Standard & Poor’s decision to downgrade the United States’ debt, but I am hopeful that this situation can be resolved. As you know, the American economy is still the most powerful and energetic in the world, and our ability to meet our financial obligations remains strong.

Larry Ching: So when do you have to go to the prison farm?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: Well, never, I hope.

Larry Ching: Will you or any of your cadre be executed?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: No, as I’ve said, this is really not a big problem. The United States remains solvent, and while I disagree with the decision by Standard & Poor’s, I agree with their basic assessment of the current political environment in the United States, which is making it very difficult to address these critical issues.

Larry Ching: Who in the Standard & Poor’s economic unit will be imprisoned for this humiliation?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: Well, um, no one, I think.

Larry Ching: No one? An economic unit of the state is not prohibited from humiliating and demeaning the leaders and the people’s government?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: Well, no, I mean, I see your point, but . . .

Larry Ching: Will there at least be televised show trials?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: No.

Larry Ching: Will Miss Bachmann Michele be publicly rebuked?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: Only by the media.

Larry Ching: Will anyone in the American ruling cadre have their lakeside retreat or Audi confiscated?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: We operate on a different system . . .

Larry Ching: Surely your children’s careers have been ruined?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: My children are very young still . . .

Larry Ching: Wonderful! A family man! How many instruments do your children play?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: I don’t . . . I mean . . . I think one of them is starting piano . . .

Larry Ching: One of them is starting piano? Okay. Moving on. What are their most recent test scores in the math or science arena?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: I’m really not comfortable discussing my children, Larry.

Larry Ching: Ouch! That bad, huh?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: If we could get back to the subject at hand?

Larry Ching: Okay, okay. Let me recap. No one will be executed, no one will be humiliated on television, no one will lose their lakeside retreat or their Audi, no one will have their children’s futures destroyed, no one will face imprisonment or public trial? Am I hearing this correctly? This is crazy crazy!

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: We don’t do that in the United States.

Larry Ching: Don’t do that! My viewers, don’t you love this guy? Tomorrow night! The whole hour with Donnie Yen, Simon Yam, and Siu-Wong Fan! The cast of Ip Man! From Chengdu, in Sichuan Province, ni hao!

Caller: Ni hao, Larry, ni hao Mr. Tim!

Larry Ching: It’s just Tim. It’s backwards over there. Am I right, Tim?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: That’s correct.

Caller: I am wondering if Tim has spoken to Obama Barack about this debt situation and if either one of them is planning on repaying this debt to the glorious Chinese people and culture?

Larry Ching: Good question! Very loosey-goosey operation you have over there. Should we be worried about our money?

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: As I’ve said, Larry, the ability of the United States to meet its obligations has never been questioned.

Larry Ching: Yeah, but you know, you’ve got all this debt here and then you tell me your kids are morons, hard to see how you get out of this mess.

Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Mr. Geithner Tim: I didn’t say my kids were –

Larry Ching: Up next! The Mrs. Hu tells us all how to eat more healthy! Stay with us! Unless you are at work, in which case please report to your supervisor for an additional assignment!

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