You wish President Romney would turn his Smiling Hawk of Cruel Truth expression on the callow youth of America and say, “If you want to waste four years honing your intellectual and professional irrelevance, fine. But do it on your own dime, and don’t take out loans, because you’ll be drawing hearts on cappuccino foam for bankers on a coffee break at your Starbucks job when you’re 30, and you won’t be paying back $60K from quarters tossed in the tip jar, no matter how elegantly you wrote the Maya Angelou quote on the coffeehouse chalkboard. You want other people to pitch in, join the Army, and then we’ll talk.”
The ad concludes that Mitt Romney wants to cut education money, then give a $250,000 tax break to millionaires. That makes sense. A man can drive past only so many schools before he realizes that those snotty-nosed sacks of substandard DNA are sucking up money that could be spent on those tiny gold forks you use to dip shrimp in cocktail sauce. It’s one thing that the lower orders breed. It’s another entirely that they learn to count, because then they’ll realize that someone else has more money than they have, and they will figure out a way to take it.
Really, isn’t this why rich white guys go into politics? Not to sunder the spine of a sclerotic system to ensure that poor kids receive better education, or give parents the ability to choose a school instead of being frog-marched into some brick bin where the administrators retire at 55 but the kids’ textbooks explode into a cloud of dust if you drop them, or make local taxpayers confront the brunt of the things they blithely vote to approve.
No, those are lies. We know they are lies because his tax plan is a lie. An economist said “a 14% readjustment in the projected 34% capital-gains-tax income adjusted over ten years, assuming 1.9% growth in seasonally adjusted revenue, will require a 23% tax increase on the middle quintile, if Romney intends to cut spending by 16% above baseline projections adjusted for decreased interest payments. Can I have some ice cream now? I’m a good boy.” Ergo anything Romney says is a filthy lie, and his education proposals are more of the same.
Thanks to the ad, we see the true dark perfidy dragged mewling into the withering light of day: Mitt Romney went into politics to turn the masses into dumb serfs who will be content with a measly stipend as long as they have free phones, cheap beer, schools that graduate illiterates, and no path out of their cramped and dispirited world. That’s so wrong.
Also, we need to spend more on food stamps and welfare. And schools!
– Mr. Lileks blogs at www.lileks.com.