National Review / Digital
From the Twitter stream of Kim Jong Un -- @youthcaptain


Just finished the first annual Pyongyang Correspondents Dinner! They loved me! I killed! (two waiters who forgot the dressing on the side and an Air Force general who didn’t laugh). #showbiz #theindustry #nextcareer

Don’t worry, @ellendegeneres! Will let you know when missiles are headed to L.A. Follow me back so I can DM you. #bigbigfan #sayhitoportia #lovetodance

Just found out that the iMac I’m using isn’t a real iMac but a Chinese ripoff. Learned the hard way trying to upload @spotify playlist.

Very disappointed that it’s already Thursday and we haven’t launched a missile yet. Watched TMZ this afternoon and saw zero mention of a Hollywood in ruin. Simply do not understand why everything takes me getting PO’ed or having someone impaled slowly during a meeting. #butitdoes #dowhatittakes

By the way, the Abdomenizer thing you see on TV is a total piece of junk. #stillfat #caveatemptor

Watched @jayleno tonight and convinced he’s getting a raw deal. Hey, @jayleno, will build a stage for you at the @pyongyangmediacenter. And will launch a satellite, too, just as soon as one of our rockets is free. They’re kinda busy right now. #targetingusa #missiles #makingnoise

Pretty bummed to learn from our Science Council that we’re actually ten years away from an effective nuclear launch. Not as bummed as they were to be covered in hot plastic and turned into my new recording studio. #mistakeswillbepunished #sixsigma #qualityassurance

Congratulate me, tweeps! Found out that the missile-trajectory calculations are not, in fact, accurate. Getting them corrected now. But gives me a perfect opportunity to have @generalunclejoon strangled to death! #mistakeswillbepunished #neverletacrisisgotowaste

What’s the over-under on whether @hillaryclinton likes younger Asian dudes with athletic builds? #askingforafriend

April 22, 2013    |     Volume LXV, No. 7

  • On the many splendors of Canada’s tar sands.
  • The euro zone signals that bank deposits are not safe.
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