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Attack of the Acronyms

by James Lileks

Some cable show, some channel, some Sunday: another think-tank smart guy laying out the risks for landing a right cross on Bashar Assad’s chin. (If you could find it. SpecOps might have to get close and paint it with a laser.) If the United States does nothing, it will be accused of indifference to Muslim suffering. If it does something, it will be accused of aggression against Muslim people. He might have added that if the United States reduced its ethanol subsidies, or issued regulations about the acceptable amount of airborne particles generated by sawing through drywall on construction sites, it would be seen by some people in the region as a proof of Jew-run perfidy that brought down Morsi by bouncing lasers off the moon.

Hence a tepid national reaction towards intervention in Syria. Even a “surgical strike,” which sounds odd. A doctor never says “That heart valve is weak, so I’m going to nail you in the sternum with a sledgehammer.” A surgical strike means a piece of ballistic wizardry that flies through the window and blows up some employees. You could just imagine Saddam Hussein weeping after cruise missiles took out a ministry. I just had the place painted. New shrubs out front. All gone. Okay, I surrender.

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