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Athwart

I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing

by James Lileks

Coke ran a Super Bowl ad in which “America the Beautiful” was sung in different languages. To judge from a few headlines in my news feeds, the entire right side of the political spectrum fell down and had a six-hour spasm that wore a groove in the floor. Why were they FREAKING OUT?

You have to ask? Foreign people are bad because otherwise God would have made them Americans. Foreign languages are wrong, period, because you don’t know what they’re saying, and we didn’t liberate Europe twice so they could turn up their noses when we say howdy-doo.

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