Phi Beta Cons

U Thair, Furra Laff Reed

…the  “Cover Letters from Hell” that further exposes higher education failure to impart basic skills.

A few years ago Killian Advertising in Chicago began posting poorly written cover letters from college-graduated job applicants on its Web site. Choice solecisms include:

“I expect the position to pay commissary to that of its value, as well as to the performance completed.”

“It is my desire to develop and generate the revolving scheme to filter to the consuming public in.”
“Skills: Microst word, excel, and power point. Mulitaks person, public speaking, and surveying.

Professional Associations

Chairwomen of Studnts Teaching Awareness and Responsibility organization

Responsible for research of all 10 event topics, coordinating all campus chiarpersons.”


ABC News highlighted other unpropitious lapses:


 “I am seeking a new position as i have recently been laid”

“I also have a degree English which serves me well in editing text for poor grammer or typos”
“The colors red, blue, and lavender are those that I identify with the most. I feel they accurately describe my personality. I choose red because I turn red when I get embarrassed”


Bob Killian, who heads the agency, concludes, “There are a whole lot of people that can’t speak in an authentic voice…We’re not a generation that writes a lot. Colleges don’t seem to be very demanding.”

Got that write.


Candace de Russy — Candace de Russy is a nationally recognized expert on education and cultural issues.

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