Planet Gore

The Bo-Ring Cycle

Here’s Brookings’ Gregg Easterbrook having a little fun at Al Gore’s expense in this weeks edition of his ESPN column, “Tuesday Morning Quarterback.” The question remains, at whose expense is the An Inconvenient Truth opera being written and staged?

The Opera Isn’t Over Till the Polar Bear Sings: I am not making this up — an opera version of the 1986 Jeff Goldblum movie “The Fly,” which itself was a remake of a 1958 Vincent Price movie, premieres this week in Los Angeles. Listen to a free sample of fly opera here. And I am not making this up — Italian composer Giorgio Battistelli is at work on an opera version of the movie “An Inconvenient Truth.” On an exclusive basis, TMQ has obtained an early libretto:
FAT LADY IN BREASTPLATE: Hot! I am hot. I am so hot! (Cadenza.) My mean global temperature has risen 1 degree Fahrenheit!
TOWNSPERSON: If you’re hot, I’m Shia LaBeouf. (She slays him with a sword.)
SCIENTIST (delivered rapidly, parlando): Atmospheric concentration 380 parts per million. Petroleum use 80 million barrels daily. Sequestration options limited. Polar sea ice melting.
Cue Prima Donna — Al Gore Enters, Orchestra Swells, Recitativo Accompagnato.
GORE: I am the sole hope of humanity — how fortunate I am humble.
Valkyries Descend, Heavens Open, Sea Level Rises.
FAT LADY: Oh Al, you make me wild with passion! (She dies; this takes 20 minutes.)
GORE: Götterdämmerung!

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