Planet Gore

The Devastating Effects of Global Lukewarming

An amusing bit from Energy Tribune:

For ten years now, there has been no global warming. This is evident in any graph of mean global temperature. Since there has been no global warming, it is obviously impossible for any event of the last decade to have been caused by global warming — any more than it would be possible for any event in the last decade to have been caused by alien invasion or balanced federal budgets or the Detroit Lions winning the Super Bowl. If it didn’t occur, it cannot have any consequences.

Yet over the past decade, the media and academic press has been stuffed full of reports of the consequences of the global warming that did not occur. Hurricane Katrina was caused by the lack of global warming. Droughts in the Mountain West and southeast US were caused by the lack of global warming. Alternately, warm winters and unusually deep snowfalls in the Northeast have been reported as being caused by the lack of global warming. Global nonwarming has caused war in Darfur, crop failures in Asia, the spread of tropical diseases in temperate regions, and the loss of ice at the North Pole. At this point, I can only pray that actual global warming will occur to save us from all the horrid consequences of this Global Lukewarming.

When it comes to global warming, there is a dedicated cadre of researchers, reporters and various hangers-on that are operating in a curiously backward fashion: they believe that global warming is real and bad, therefore anything really bad is obviously caused by global warming. This belief is so devout that it cannot be shaken by anything so minor as a lack of actual global warming. Even when it doesn’t happen, global warming may kill us all. Oh, if only we had ratified Kyoto!

And in those rare instances in which the lack of global warming is begrudgingly acknowledged by the more moderate sects of the climatological doomsday cult, it is with a curiously loaded language: global warming has entered a “time out” or a “pause.” If you needed any more proof that Global Warmageddon is the basis of a new secular religion, surely this is it: its believers have faith that while the central figure in the cult may have gone away, it is doubtless that he will come again. Forget about carbon capture, perhaps we should worry about the carbon rapture.

The rest here.

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