Congress: Of all the ways of killing liberty, from pistols to propaganda, the cleverest yet devised may be to smother the populace with endless words. Quick votes for colossal, unread legislation violate Congress’ oath.
Henry Waxman, D-Calif., chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, is planning to respond to Republican insistence that his entire 946-page cap-and-tax bill be read aloud by using a speed reader.
According to a Wall Street Journal story, the newly hired young staff aide claims he can read “a page about every 34 seconds,” which would mean it would take only nine hours to recite all the gobbledygook in the monster climate legislation.
We have someone else in mind. Waxman should get the star of FedEx’s commercials from the 1980s, John Moschitta Jr., to do the deed. At 586 words a minute, Moschitta made it into the Guinness Book. For portraying an executive who talks a mile a minute, he won the Clio Award with lines like, “Dave, it’s a deal with Don, Dork and Dick. Dork, it’s a deal with Don, Dave and Dick . . .”
Making Moschitta the public face of FedEx was one of the greatest advertising moves in corporate history, but a big part of Moschitta’s charm was his sense of the absurd. That’s exactly what must be brought home to the American people on Congress’ outrageous practices.