I can’t help being reminded of Monty Python’s Life of Brian, where Judean activist Reg complains about the Romans:
- Reg: They’ve bled us white, the bastards. They’ve taken everything we had, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers’ fathers.
- Stan: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
- Reg: Yes.
- Stan: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
- Reg: All right, Stan. Don’t labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?
- Xerxes: The aqueduct.
- Reg: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That’s true.
- Masked Activist: And the sanitation!
- Stan: Oh yes… sanitation, Reg, you remember what the city used to be like.
- Reg: All right, I’ll grant you that the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done…
- Matthias: And the roads…
- Reg: (sharply) Well yes obviously the roads… the roads go without saying. But apart from the aqueduct, the sanitation and the roads…
- Another Masked Activist: Irrigation…
- Other Masked Voices: Medicine… Education… Health…
- Reg: Yes… all right, fair enough…
- Activist Near Front: And the wine…
- Omnes: Oh yes! True!
- Francis: Yeah. That’s something we’d really miss if the Romans left, Reg.
- Masked Activist at Back: Public baths!
- Stan: And it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now.
- Francis: Yes, they certainly know how to keep order… (general nodding)… let’s face it, they’re the only ones who could in a place like this.
(more general murmurs of agreement)
- Reg: All right… all right… but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order… what have the Romans done for us?
- Xerxes: Brought peace!
- Reg: (very angry, he’s not having a good meeting at all) What!? Oh… (scornfully) Peace, yes… shut up!