Planet Gore

Where Have You Been, ‘Al’?

He has returned from Davos (with the greatest of ease, no doubt) and is back writing on “An Inconvenient Blog,” of course.

It has been a while since I last posted. “Where have you been, Al?” is the question that everyone has been asking.
As many of you know, the cold winter that we’ve experienced has given climate criminals the perfect ammunition to wage war against the scientific consensus that exists which states that climate change is real and that it threatens our very survival. These criminals, which include mass-polluters and big oil companies, are thriving on the fact that most of us don’t know that a cold winter is actually a powerful sign of climate change.

The good news is that it’s already too late for these climate criminals. Change has come to Washington DC. And it couldn’t have come soon enough.
Our new President, Barack Obama, understands that climate change is one of our most pressing issues. And he understands that a new green economy is the only way to stimulate a dying dirty economy. The risk of doing nothing is too great and we must move forward with changes that will renew our planet at the same time as we renew our economy.

New fuel-efficiency standards will make our automakers more competitive and lower costs for consumers. A cap-and-trade system that promotes clean energy will dramatically lower electricity bills. And by putting people to work in new clean industries, tens of billions of new jobs will be created.
Where have I been? I’ve been waiting for this moment for a lifetime. It is here. The final solution is within sight. The only question now is whether we have the will to finish the job. I already know the answer: yes we can. We already have, and we will.

UPDATE: You have to love AIB’s “About Me” section:

Former United States Vice President and Nobel Prize winner Al Gore is the inventor of the internet and global warming. He is a world-renowned expert on a whole host of issues, including technology, communications, nuclear disarmament, the environment, economics and the electoral college system.

UPDATE II: There seems to be some confusion over the authenticity of AIB. We’ve heard suggestions that it might not be written by Al Gore himself. Apparently, there are some impostors running around claiming to be the Goracle.

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