In a ruling that could throw NBA marketing into chaos, the league’s logo has been whistled for carrying and forced to surrender the ball. At a hastily summoned news conference, Carey Palmer, the league’s supervisor of graphic rules enforcement, explained: “We performed a frame-by-frame 3-D forensic time-lapse reconstruction using iterative kinesiological software, and he’s, like, totally palming it, bro. The guy might as well put that ball in a tote bag.”
A furious Commissioner David Stern announced the logo’s immediate benching. “I’ve warned that logo time and time again about sloppy play,” he grumbled. “If we can’t get our own marketing insignia to follow the rules, how can we expect our players to?” For the time being, Stern has replaced the transgressive trademark with a little-known backup that shows a player trying to in-bound the ball. The commissioner was noncommittal on the logo’s long-term prospects, but sources say he is actively pursuing a trade with other sports leagues and may be willing to throw in a snappy promotional slogan, perhaps accompanied by a generic young-male-oriented publicity campaign to be named later.