Martin Prado grounds out to the pitcher in his first at-bat? My fantasy season is over! Mark Teixeira drills a three-run shot to the upper deck in right? My fantasy season is saved!
Welcome to the next six months of my life.
Predictions:
American League
East: Red Sox
Central: Twins
West: Athletics
Wildcard: Yankees
But it’ll be close. The addition of Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford won’t fully offset disappointing years from Youk, Ortiz, Scutaro, and Mike Cameron — who put up a lousy .729 OPS in 48 games last year. The Sox rotation could be studly if Lackey and Beckett return to pre-2010 form; or they could be the 2008 Padres starting five — a motley of over-the-hill aces, injury cases and Cinderellas who turned into pumpkins.
National League
. . . What the hell is a “National League”?
Okay, fine.
East: Phillies
Central: Brewers
West: Giants
Wildcard: Rockies
Game on, gentlemen.