Right Field

The Telegraph: Why Won’t America Play Our Sports?

Oh, it’s on.

A modest proposal: Any future aid to Europe shall be conditional on a few things. First off, football will now be known by its rightful name, “soccer.” Cricket will be full-contact and “sixes” will now be called “home runs.” And the metric system? Gone.

We’ll let you drive on the wrong side of the road — if you behave.

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