The Campaign Spot

Obama: When I Am Reelected, the Blisters Will Pop!

If Obama is reelected, boy, will he be in a mood to compromise:

For Americans weary of the acrimonious partisan gridlock in Washington, President Obama has a rosy message of hope and change: reelect me in November and the stalemate will end.

“My expectation is that there will be some popping of the blister after this election, because it will have been such a stark choice,” Obama told TIME Magazine in a newly published interview.

“I do think that should I be fortunate enough to have another four years, the American people will have made a decision. And, hopefully, that will impact how Republicans think about these problems,” he told TIME.

The blister of partisanship will POP!

If you are one of those partisan opponents of the president, you will be lanced like a boil. You will be pierced, your innards will spill out, and the pores of America will be clear once again!

[Insert Violent Femmes joke here.]