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Science: What Makes Guys Undateable

‘We’re not being mean. It’s not a man-bashing book,” says Ellen Rakieten, the Chicago co-author of Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won’t Be Dating or Having Sex (Villard, $15).

It’s a public service, that’s what it is. “We like to say we’re humanitarians,” Rakieten says. “We’re the sister-girlfriend-friend who is telling guys the truth about what we talk about behind their backs.” Rakieten lives in Lincoln Park, while co-author Anne Coyle lives in Bucktown.

The buzz-worthy book is full of no-nos, helpfully illustrated and categorized according to severity: Red Flag (tube socks), Storm Cloud (sideways baseball hat), Not Getting Any (leather pants) and Kiss of Death (the skullet — a bald head with long hair in back).