The Home Front

Author Admits He Dated the ‘Obamacare Girl’

Zeke Pipher has a great rundown of a date he recently had:

I dated the Obamacare girl.

And why wouldn’t I . . . she was so optimistic and promising when we first met. Big brown eyes and a warm smile. She even wore those long, dangly earrings – those get me every time. She told me, “If you take me out, you’ll find that I’m more than a date. Much more!”

Wowsers! That’s a hard promise to pass up. So, we went out. Well, sort of. O-girl told me to pick her up, but when I reached her front door I found a note that read, “I can’t go out at our scheduled time, but please keep standing at the door until I’m able.”

An odd way to begin, I thought. But, what could I do? There was no getting out of the date at this point – promises were made. So, I stood on her stoop . . . for several days. One day, long after the flowers in my hand had wilted, I could hear her shuffling around inside. “Are you there,” I asked. “Is this date going to happen?”

She replied from behind the closed door, “I AM here . . . and you’re being impatient. Nobody is more frustrated than I am that our date hasn’t begun.” She stomped away from the door, and I went back to waiting.

What’s that? You shouldn’t date girls you meet on the Internet?  Well, he didn’t get the memo. Read how his date went, if you’d like a little humor injected into this whole mess.

Nancy French — Nancy French is a three-time New York Times best-selling author and a longtime contributor to National Review Online.

Most Popular

Sports

It’s Time for Colin Kaepernick to Move On

Colin Kaepernick. Remember him? Below-average quarterback. Above-average poseur. Not “activist,” not really. Activists actually say stuff. Kaepernick almost never says anything. He’s like the Queen or most popes — you have to read the deep-background musings of supposed members of his inner circle to get ... Read More
U.S.

The Age of Miscalculation

On August 7, 1998, more than 200 people were killed in terrorist attacks on U.S. embassies in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, and Nairobi, Kenya. Americans learned three names most of them never had heard before: Ayman al-Zawahiri, Osama bin Laden, and al-Qaeda. On August 20, 1998, President Bill Clinton ordered a ... Read More
Sports

Jay-Z Joins the Ranks of the Insufficiently Woke

Rapper and mogul Jay-Z announced his company’s new partnership with the National Football League and has made much of the social-justice Left furious: I think that we forget that Colin [Kaepernick]’s whole thing was to bring attention to social injustice, correct? So, in that case, this is a success; this is ... Read More