The Home Front

Pulling a Fast One on the Transgendered?

I went to a lecture last night at a large university in downtown Denver. Before taking my seat, I had business to attend to, so I went searching for the necessary facility. I found it, but it was no ordinary bathroom. This one was special.

I’ve heard of so-called “gender neutral” bathrooms, but have never had the good fortune to be able to use one. This was my big chance. Here, right outside the lecture hall, was one of these new, trendy water-closets that certain minorities have been fighting for. My mind went wild with anticipatory questions: What would it be like? Perhaps it’s equipped with a new, creative kind of receptacle to accommodate any of the diverse and sundry genders that might come seeking relief. Maybe it has fabulous interior decor unlike the other two kinds of bathrooms we are all used to. The possibilities seemed endless. Who knew?

So I entered, and, guess what? It was a bathroom. Just a plain ol’ bathroom with a toilet, a sink, and a paper dispenser. “Is this it?” I said to myself.

 

It was just like the bathroom you might find at your doctor’s office or hospital, ’cept these are unceremoniously marked “restroom.” It’s just like the one we all had in kindergarten in the back of the classroom, also known as “the bathroom” or perhaps “potty.” Boys and girls have used them for decades without the least bit of confusion, awkwardness, or embarrassment between them, save for the obvious fear of transmitting cooties. There was a one simple rule for these bathrooms shared by boys, girls, and others. 1) If someone is in there, don’t go in. 2) If no one’s in there, it’s yours. Seems like a durable and trustworthy rule of thumb for such one-holers. One would assume it would work for the one I saw last night.

But of course, a gender-neutral restroom must be something different or else they’d just call it a bathroom. So, this had me wondering why this particular university thought it was just fine to pull a fast one on the transgendered and gender-questioning students by telling them they’ve been supplied with one thing when it is clearly another.

I’m sure it’s not because the whole “gender is a rainbow-like spectrum” ideology driving such things is, as Kramer would say, “the biggest scam perpetuated on the American public since One Hour Martinizing.”

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