According to the Feminist Internet, Friday the 13th being considered “unlucky” is apparently a manifestation of the patriarchy because Friday is the only day of the week named after a female goddess, and a group of 13 women was considered to be a coven of witches approximately 9 billion years ago.

At least that’s what journalist Nell Frizzel argues in an article in The Guardian titled “Let’s reclaim Friday the 13th. Women are not witches.”

In her post, Frizzel explains that our current perception of the date is not only sexist but also a “huge waste of an opportunity,” because we could be using it to promote like abortion access and stuff instead!

“It would be wonderful if we used Friday the 13th to campaign for better abortion rights, closing the pay gap, increasing the average nurse’s salary to more than £23,192, to demand better paternity leave, to introduce self-defence lessons in schools and to call for the cuts to women’s refuges to be reversed,” she writes.

(Wait — I thought self-defense lessons were part of victim-blaming rape culture? I’m so confused.)

Now, lest you think Frizzel is just grasping at straws here, she explains why this issue is very, very important:

“By marking Friday the 13th as dangerous and defiling we have transformed it from a date into a taboo,” she explains. “And, sadly, taboos can still be extremely dangerous. Look at Tanzania where last year 23 people in a single village were killed on suspicion of being witches.”

Ohhhhhhhh, OK. So our Friday the 13th jokes are causing women to die in other countries. Got it — thanks. For a second I thought you were just being ridiculous.

— Katherine Timpf is a reporter at National Review Online.