When Pope Benedict XVI traveled to Africa recently, the trip — as we all know — was all about sex. The Catholic Church is well known for hating it — and especially people taking any pleasure in it. So the story was simple for the international media: Pope goes to Africa. Pope unrealistically says “no” to condoms. Pope is a heartless oppressive creep — “discredited,” as one of the president’s faith-based advisers might have put it.

The full story, of course, is much more complicated. And beautiful. And uplifting.

Yes, the Catholic Church says “no” to the contraceptive mentality in which the West stakes its hope — to the demographic despair of Europe, and to the misery of aimless women and men depicted on Sex and the City–like dramas throughout your cable box. The Church teaches marital fidelity and the deepest respect for the human person. How could it not when, as Genesis 1:27 teaches, man and woman are made in the image and likeness of God?

And so, when Benedict was asked about condoms en route to Africa, his answer was thoroughly sensible and humanitarian. As he has done previously, he echoed themes that his predecessor, Pope John Paul II, proclaimed lovingly throughout his life. He talked about humanizing sexuality and “true friendship.” The culture of contraception has its share of Trojan Horses — for single men and women, for families, and for communities suffering from sexually transmitted pandemics (a predicament another papal predecessor, Pope Paul VI, presciently warned about four decades ago).

Benedict further elaborated on sex and the sexes during a meeting “on the promotion of women” at Saint Anthony’s in Luanda. The pontiff said:

As you know, my dear friends, this order of love belongs to the intimate life of God himself, the Trinitarian life, the Holy Spirit being the personal hypostasis of love. As my predecessor Pope John Paul II once wrote, “in God’s eternal plan, woman is the one in whom the order of love in the created world of persons takes first root” (Mulieris Dignitatem, 29). . . .
Man and woman are both called to live in profound communion through a reciprocal recognition of one another and the mutual gift of themselves, working together for the common good through the complementary aspects of masculinity and femininity. Who today can fail to recognize the need to make more room for the “reasons of the heart”? In a world like ours, dominated by technology, we feel the need for this feminine complementarity, so that the human race can live in the world without completely losing its humanity. Think of all the places afflicted by great poverty or devastated by war, and of all the tragic situations resulting from migrations, forced or otherwise. It is almost always women who manage to preserve human dignity, to defend the family and to protect cultural and religious values.

As zenit.org reports, Benedict “underlined Mary’s role in the Gospel story of the wedding at Cana,” noting that “her maternal mediation thus made possible the ‘good wine,’ prefiguring a new covenant between divine omnipotence and the poor but receptive human heart.”

The pontiff extended a special greeting to all women, “to whom God has entrusted the wellsprings of life,” saying, “I invite you to live and to put your trust in life, because the living God has put his trust in you!”
He called on his listeners to be aware of the “adverse conditions to which many women have been — and continue to be — subjected, paying particular attention to ways in which the behavior and attitudes of men, who at times show a lack of sensitivity and responsibility, may be to blame.”
He added, “This forms no part of God’s plan.”

Not the patronizing, unrealistic, misogynistic, oppressive pope you’re used to reading about?

The world of Newsweek — I pick on Newsweek because it took pains to proclaim that Christianity is dying just in time for Easter (despite a “The Decline and Fall of Christian America” cover, it was a stretch the magazine couldn’t quite make) — might find the pope vs. sex story sexier, but the real story is at the core of Christianity, never mind humanity. And it’s incredibly timely this weekend.

In his Way of the Cross, then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger wrote:

On Jesus’ Way of the Cross, we also find Mary, his Mother. During his public life she had to step aside, to make place for the birth of Jesus’ new family, the family of his disciples. She also had to hear the words: “Who is my mother and who are my brothers? . . . Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is brother, and sister and mother” (Mt 12:48-50). Now we see her as the Mother of Jesus, not only physically, but also in her heart. Even before she conceived him bodily, through her obedience she conceived him in her heart. It was said to Mary: “And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son. He will be great and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David” (Lk 1:31ff.). And she would hear from the mouth of the elderly Simeon: “A sword will pierce through your own soul” (Lk 2:35). She would then recall the words of the prophets, words like these: “He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; he was like a lamb that is led to slaughter” (Is 54:7). Now it all takes place. In her heart she had kept the words of the angel, spoken to her in the beginning: “Do not be afraid, Mary” (Lk 1:30). The disciples fled, yet she did not flee. She stayed there, with a Mother’s courage, a Mother’s fidelity, a Mother’s goodness, and a faith which did not waver in the hour of darkness: “Blessed is she who believed” (Lk 1:45). “Nevertheless, when the Son of man comes, will he find faith on earth?” (Lk 18:8). Yes, in this moment Jesus knows: he will find faith. In this hour, this is his great consolation.

Christians believe God became man, to be among us, to show us how to live. He couldn’t have done it right without the women who were by his side when he died. And we, in turn, can’t live our lives without being fully present to the men and women in our lives, in full recognition of the unique and natural gifts we bring to the table.

Bishop Fulton J. Sheen wrote of the sexes.

Men we need, yes, strong men like Peter who will let the broad strike of their challenge ring out on the shield of the world’s hypocrisies; strong men like Paul, who with a two-edged sword will cut away the ties that bind down the energies of the world; strong men like John who with a loud voice will arouse the world from the sleek dream of an unheroic repose.
But we need women, too, who in the language of the Holy Father “will be a teacher-guide to one’s sisters, to direct ideas, dissipate prejudices, clarify obscure points, explain and diffuse the teachings of the Church, hold back those currents which threaten the home; for who better than she can understand what is needed for the dignity of woman, the integrity and honor of the young girl, and the protection and education of the child.”

And we need men and women to recognize these different gifts, respect them, and love their loved ones with all of these gifts in mind. The story of Christianity is about “yes.” The story from the papal Africa trip is all about “yes.” In fact, in talking about family and fidelity and trust in God, Benedict said, “the building up of every Christian family takes place within the larger family, the Church, which sustains the domestic family and holds it close to her heart, giving it the assurance that it is protected, now and in the future, by the ‘yes’ of the Creator.”

With a little common sense, inspiration, and Divine help, if you’ll take it, there is a better way than reflexively rejecting the concept of “Love and Responsibility,” that sex and the sexes need these components to succeed, as lovers, dreamers, friends, colleagues, leaders. With respect: Yes, We Can.

And, yes, even in Africa. To suggest otherwise would be inhumane.