Abead of sweat trickles down Gavin Newsom’s greasy brow as he brandishes a ballot initiative at California’s independent redistricting commission: “I’m just crazy enough to do it, maaaaaan!,” he squawks as he cocks the hammer at the good-government hostages he’s taken. A thousand miles away across the great divide in Texas, Greg Abbott sits with his own set of Democratic captives, wondering whether he should have tried to rob this particular bank in the first place. (“This wasn’t even my idea!”)
Over the horizon, JB Pritzker and Kathy Hochul are rustling up bandits to pin Abbott down. Calls for backup have been sent to Indiana, Florida, and Ohio; will the cavalry arrive in time? The clock is ticking. A powder keg is set to explode, and the fuse for all of this was lit by Texas’s decision to engage — at President Donald Trump’s bidding — in mid-decade redistricting to squeeze another five potential Republican seats out of the state’s congressional delegation.






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