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Creeped out. That’s the best way I can describe my response to an anti-Israel protest I stumbled upon one recent Sunday in Manhattan. Ranting picketers carried signs that made light of the Holocaust; children dressed as Hamas militants dotted the crowd.

I wish my response was more profound, conveying a deeper analysis. But “creeped out” is how I felt as I exited the scene. Days later, a colleague, military historian Victor Davis Hanson, expressed a similar reaction to accounts of too many comparable scenes: We’re living in “creepy times,” he wrote on National Review Online.

It is creepy indeed that any protester, no matter how angry and hurt, would minimize the Holocaust, or that the leader of Iran would hold a conference dedicated to denying it. It’s creepy that Hamas would use a U.N. school for weapons storage and as a shooting base during the continuing battle for the Gaza Strip. It’s creepy that the United Nations equates Israeli nationalism — and a constitutional republic’s struggle to exist unmolested — with racism. It’s creepy that so few people can see the difference between Israel, which goes out of its way to avoid killing innocents, and Hamas, which displays a bloodlust for Jewish civilians.

But nothing is black and white, in particular in the fight between Israel and Hamas. In a place many consider the holiest of lands, violence and hostility boil in perpetuity. Humans hate easily, while forgiveness can be hard to extend. Out of these poisonous seeds grows vengeance.

And while I find it easy to separate the forces of bad and good in the Middle East, Palestinian children are still children who deserve a shot at a decent life, even when they are exploited by their guardians.

Israel seems able to recognize the moral complexities involved in its situation, even in spite of the countless, grievous wrongs it has suffered. Israelis, however, still need to take a step back. For one thing, not every skeptical look at Israel’s aggressive retaliation to Hamas stems from anti-Semitism. Yes, anti-Semitism is a lingering and prevalent evil, and we in the West seem particularly desensitized to it even as it is embraced enthusiastically in the Arab world. But it doesn’t give Israel carte blanche when it comes to military action or diplomacy. Cool heads need to prevail on all sides of this struggle.

The tragic death of Cristina, a 15-year-old Christian girl who lived in Gaza, was reported by zenit.org: “She died of a heart attack after days of cold and lack of sleep due to the bombardment.” The Rev. Manuel Musallam, a priest from the Latin parish in Gaza, read an account of her death to Christian leaders in Jerusalem, urging peace. The Zenit report continued: “Cristina is one of the 600 Palestinians to have died in the 11-day Israeli offensive, in which U.N. and Palestinian officials report that nearly half of the dead are civilians.”

We cannot overlook the blunt facts, no matter what the nationality of the children involved. Cristina reminds us of the human costs of war. And whether actively engaged in fighting a war, or attempting to negotiate the end to one, prudence must exist alongside the pursuit of justice at all times.

There’s no question in my mind that Israel is the good guy here. It doesn’t aim to kill Cristina. It just wants Rachel to have a safe home. Meanwhile, all too often, its opponent wants Rachel and her family dead.

But maybe Israel, civilized, constitutional democracy that it is, should work even harder to protect and respect the innocent on both sides of this struggle. And when there is collateral damage among the opposition, it should shed tears for those dead, too.

Isn’t admitting a basic, unpleasant truth one of the Twelve Steps to recovery? It sure beats the same old creepy pattern of hatred, resentment, and vengeance now on display in the Holy Land.

© 2009, Kathryn Jean Lopez. Distributed by Newspaper Enterprise Assn.