Forgiveness Is a Gift to Us All

Starting this evening, Jews around the world will observe Yom Kippur — during which they’ll be encouraged to seek forgiveness for transgressions committed over the past year. While an entire day focused on urging people to atone for wrongs might seem like overkill, research suggests that’s not the case. Forgiveness doesn’t always come easily. In fact, recent surveys show that 25 percent of people never or rarely forgive others. And while that figure suggests a majority can and do forgive at times, it doesn’t seem we do it enough. 62 percent of Americans surveyed want to see more forgiveness in their personal lives, and a whopping 94 percent want the country to show more forgiveness as a whole.

Of course, what we want isn’t always what we need; our desires can lead us astray. But while philosophers have long debated whether forgiveness is a strength or weakness, religious thinkers have extolled its benefits for centuries — and modern research increasingly supports them. Research links forgiveness with better health and well-being. Forgiving others lowers depression, anxiety, hostility, and substance abuse, and enhances mental health, feelings of purpose, life satisfaction, and social connection. Put simply, forgiving people helps us flourish. We do need more of it. And that leads to a question: While most faith traditions recommend it, do they offer wisdom to help foster it?

DD

About the Author

David DeSteno

David DeSteno is the Dean’s Professor of Psychology and Moral Development at Northeastern University

and host of the podcast How God Works: The Science Behind Spirituality.

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Starting this evening, Jews around the world will observe Yom Kippur — during which they’ll be encouraged to seek forgiveness for transgressions committed over the past year. While an entire day focused on urging people to atone for wrongs might seem like overkill, research suggests that’s not the case. Forgiveness doesn’t always come easily. In fact, recent surveys show that 25 percent of people never or rarely forgive others. And while that figure suggests a majority can and do forgive at times, it doesn’t seem we do it enough. 62 percent of Americans surveyed want to see more forgiveness in their personal lives, and a whopping 94 percent want the country to show more forgiveness as a whole.

Of course, what we want isn’t always what we need; our desires can lead us astray. But while philosophers have long debated whether forgiveness is a strength or weakness, religious thinkers have extolled its benefits for centuries — and modern research increasingly supports them. Research links forgiveness with better health and well-being. Forgiving others lowers depression, anxiety, hostility, and substance abuse, and enhances mental health, feelings of purpose, life satisfaction, and social connection. Put simply, forgiving people helps us flourish. We do need more of it. And that leads to a question: While most faith traditions recommend it, do they offer wisdom to help foster it?