Were you aware that I love foreign drug traffickers? Love ’em. Yes, sir. Every morning, I wake up, prayerfully close my eyes, and hope, as devoutly as I’ve ever hoped for anything, that somewhere in the Caribbean there is a foreign drug trafficker heading toward the United States.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been asked why, despite being a vocally patriotic sort, I have held steadfastly to the conviction that the federal government possesses no freestanding authority to launch rockets at vessels that it suspects might be engaged in the movement of narcotics. In response, I have had to repeatedly explain that, quite obviously, it is because I’m an unreconstructed enthusiast for the global cocaine trade.
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