It’s High Time We Judged the Smell of Weed

American cities stink, and it’s because of weed. “Skunky” isn’t harsh enough. It’s the smell of a putrefied skunk that was in heat when it died three days ago. On a radiator. The modern smell of cities doesn’t seem to be anything like the marijuana of olden times, which people may remember as having a gentle smell whose distinctiveness announced its illegality. It was the smell of lassitude and inertia. The average dose of weed was as mild as Wally Cox, compared to today’s super-scientifically engineered varieties.

Apparently, the weed agronomists, armed with modern techniques, asked themselves: “What if we took that mild sense of euphoria and false sense of enhanced consciousness that made you stare at the folds of your hands for 35 minutes, and made it into something so powerful that it would stupefy a silverback gorilla?”

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James Lileks

James Lileks blogs at www.lileks.com.

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American cities stink, and it’s because of weed. “Skunky” isn’t harsh enough. It’s the smell of a putrefied skunk that was in heat when it died three days ago. On a radiator. The modern smell of cities doesn’t seem to be anything like the marijuana of olden times, which people may remember as having a gentle smell whose distinctiveness announced its illegality. It was the smell of lassitude and inertia. The average dose of weed was as mild as Wally Cox, compared to today’s super-scientifically engineered varieties.

Apparently, the weed agronomists, armed with modern techniques, asked themselves: “What if we took that mild sense of euphoria and false sense of enhanced consciousness that made you stare at the folds of your hands for 35 minutes, and made it into something so powerful that it would stupefy a silverback gorilla?”