The Women on 20 campaign is fighting to put a woman on the $20 bill as a step towards achieving gender equality — apparently not realizing that the idea is transphobic and that the proposed list of nominees is racist and ableist.

While I definitely agree that it’s time to put an end to our microaggression-money, the suggestion that “female” is the only other gender we need to represent perpetuates the outdated concept of a gender binary. Not only are there an infinite number of genders out there, but there are also those who are gender fluid who identify sometimes as male and sometimes as female depending on how they feel at the moment. How about developing a bill that is male on one side and female on the other? That would actually be a great way to explain gender fluidity to Americans who are not as culturally aware as I am.

I really cannot believe that a so-called progressive group would do this to the two-spirit, genderqueer, gender nonconforming, agender, bigender, gender questioning, gender variant, pangender, transmasculine, and transfeminine communities. (If you are a conservative country bumpkin/idiot and not educated on the meaning of these identities, you can learn more about them here. Also, my Google Docs put a red squiggly under “bigender,” as if this identity is “incorrect.” Really Google? It’s 2015.)

Okay, so now that I have proven that the whole idea is inherently offensive, I also have to educate you on how racist and closed-minded the specific list of proposed nominees is: Alice Paul, Betty Friedan, Shirley Chisholm, Sojourner Truth, Rachel Carson, Rosa Parks, Barbara Jordan, Margaret Sanger, Patsy Mink, Clara Barton, Harriet Tubman, Frances Perkins, Susan B. Anthony, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Elizabeth Cady Stanton.

Um, hell-ooooo-ooooh! First of all, the fact that these women are just candidates for one bill rather than all automatic shoo-ins for their own bills is an outrage. After all, the people of our racist country will just pick one of the white ones — making the women of the other nominated cultures feel inferior. And like some cultures weren’t even nominated at all. There are literally no Native American women on the list, even though there should pretty clearly be at least one from every single tribe. Oh, and by the way, there is not a single handi-capable female included. What a joke.

There must be a gender-fluid bill, a straight female of each race, a lesbian female of each race, a bisexual female of each race, an asexual female of each race, a gender nonconforming person of each race, a handi-capable female of each race, a handi-capable gender nonconforming person of each race, and also a few mixed-race representatives. I think that Gloria Steinem and Lena Dunham should at least be considered too even though they’re obviously a little bit evil because they’re white. I apologize if I am forgetting anyone. I’m aware that my white privilege makes me a terrible person so please forgive me in advance for my ignorance. I didn’t mean to oppress you.

What we actually need to do here is overthrow our entire currency. Not having enough denominations of money to represent all marginalized groups is no excuse to exclude anyone — we just need to add more denominations! I really don’t see what would be wrong with a $1.27 bill, for example. Why not? Isn’t this the most important thing ever in the world?

Also, to make more room we should definitely do away with all of the straight, cisgender white males already on the bills. I mean seriously. I really don’t know why we’re still celebrating these people even though it’s a proven fact that every single problem in the world is all their fault.

— Katherine Timpf is a reporter for National Review Online.