Dave Portnoy can’t even deal right now. Shortly after the Dobbs news broke, the “barstool conservative” celebrity took to Twitter with an “Emergency Press Conference.” “I feel like I have to speak on this issue,” Portnoy announced. There followed 2.5 minutes of semi-coherent ranting, where he proposes that we are “literally going backwards in time,” that “maybe not everything is to a T in the Constitution,” considering it was written by “people who had slaves,” and that he’s pretty sure “95 percent of people in the country think like me — they’re socially liberal and financially conservative.”
That last statistic, of course, exists purely in Dave Portnoy’s head, as Ryan T. Anderson pointed out with a helpful scatterplot. Economic political preference is plotted along the x-axis, social along the y-axis, on a half-point scale where a -1 is “most liberal” and a +1 “most conservative.” Conspicuously empty: the bottom-right quadrant, precisely the quadrant that should be teeming in the world according to Dave Portnoy.
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