Greetings and welcome to this 36th episode of the Carnival of Fools! This may be the last one we stage in this dusty old theater, as mysterious foreign donors have just offered to upgrade the Carnival’s performance space to a gold-plated stadium, purely out of their appreciation for my wit and wisdom (and seeking a few subtle editorial tweaks here and there). So now a brief word from our sponsors: You would be amazed at all of the wonderful things currently happening in the Arabian oasis paradise of Doha, where Tomorrow’s Future Begins Today™!

Trump Never Wanted to Drain the Swamp, He Wanted to Rule It

As you may know, the president of the United States has announced that he is getting a very special gift from a very strange source: The oil-rich Gulf micro-state of Qatar reportedly is looking to donate a half-billion-dollar Boeing 747-8 to Donald Trump, for use as a replacement for Air Force One. (Trump considers the current AF1 to be “too old” and thus beneath his dignity, although it is in no way unsafe.)

Are you worried about the idea of the president flying around in a plane donated to America by a nation known both for its massive Washington “influence operation” and its friendliness with major terrorist groups in the Middle East? Then fear not, for this gift is only “temporary” and shall remain unsullied by future, less worthy presidents: Trump, according to reports, will retire it from federal service and transfer ownership to himself, under the nominal institutional control of his presidential library. “Only a stupid person” would refuse such a gift, he says. So what’s your problem, huh? You’re not stupid, are you?

No, I am not, which is why I refuse to be condescended to by either Trump or his defenders. Your lyin’ eyes are not deceiving you: This is exactly what it looks like, it is utterly appalling, and if you tolerate it or make lazily partisan excuses to justify it, then you will deserve what inevitably comes next.

I don’t want to repeat everything Jim Geraghty wrote yesterday morning, so I will summarize bluntly: This is a transparent attempt at an international bribe — a personal gift to the president to curry future favor — so much so that I don’t see the point in pretending it to be anything but one. Even if you personally believe Trump to be as incorruptible as Robespierre — even if you are that willfully ignorant of his entire history of business dealings — the terrible optics and moral hazards of a president accepting his own personal Air Force One from a nation of shady oil billionaires are beyond obvious.

And what’s despairingly amusing about it, as Jim amply documents, is just how blatant the corruption is. Just this April, Trump’s family struck a deal with the Qataris to build a golf course and resort there. Now Qatar’s government is poised to gift him a new airplane.

Most outrageous of all, really, is how this “gift” is entirely in keeping with how Qatar purchases access and favors within the corridors of Washington power, differing only in scale. The lavish amount of money this postage-stamp petrostate spends at every level of the U.S. lobbying and policymaking establishment is an open secret in the nation’s capital. And the Qataris have to be generous, for this is a nation otherwise primarily known for sheltering Hamas leadership, financially supporting the Houthi rebels in Yemen, and tolerating the deaths of Asian laborers by the truckload during rushed preparations for the 2022 World Cup.

Qatar is happy to spend its money wherever it thinks it can curry favor, and Trump’s administration in particular is stocked with people who until recently made millions working as registered foreign agents of the nation, including Attorney General Pam Bondi. (Bondi, in her role as the head of the Department of Justice, just officially cleared Trump’s acquisition of the jet — in case you were worried there might be a conflict of interest in all of this.)

I despair at the defenses currently on offer from Trump’s partisans. “Boeing is incompetent” may be true, but it is not a defense. The inability of a major American defense contractor to build a new airplane on a reasonable timeline is a cause for genuine concern; it is not an excuse to accept an airplane from a foreign (and often unfriendly) country as a personal gift, a gift given because of the power Trump can wield in their behalf. Nobody gives away $400 million for free. The fact that Trump is insisting on taking the plane with him (rather than benevolently passing this high-tech gift on to the next president) tells you all you need to know about who he thinks the recipient is.

I remember Donald Trump’s 2016 promise to “drain the swamp” of corruption. I remember the Republican outrage over Joe and Hunter Biden’s corrupt dealings with Ukrainian business interests. (I remember Donald Trump being impeached over his interest in this, too.) I understand it now to have all been a joke; a means to an end; a convenient weapon at hand to bash the enemy with. Donald Trump never wanted to drain the swamp. He wanted to become its lord.

John Cornyn Is in Trouble

A new poll is out today on the 2026 primary race between Senator John Cornyn of Texas and ultra-MAGA state Attorney General Ken Paxton, and even though the race is a year away, the news looks incredibly grim for the four-term incumbent senator: The Tarrance Group, polling on behalf of the Senate Leadership Forum, has Cornyn trailing Paxton 56–40 percent, and trailing 44–34–19 in a three-way race with Congressman Wesley Hunt. The kicker:

The survey . . . also tested a general election contest between each potential Republican candidate and former Democratic Rep. Colin Allred (D-Texas), who is mulling another Senate run. Cornyn led Allred by 6 points in the poll. Hunt was up 4 points. Paxton was down by 1 point.

Emphasis added, and I hope you understand what it means. Anyone who remembers Ted Cruz’s mighty struggle to retain his Senate seat in 2018 — Trump’s first midterm — against media darling and forgotten mirage Beto O’Rourke knows full well that Texas is no longer a state that Republicans can take entirely for granted, particularly in a bad national cycle. Back in 2018, Cruz was as toxic a GOP incumbent as Texas had put forth in a statewide election to date, but his problems were those of bad timing, questionable political decision-making, and an awkward personality — not corruption.

Which brings us to Ken Paxton. Allow me to briefly explain to you why it’s no surprise to see him losing to a Democrat in this kind of environment next year. It is the habit of ethically or otherwise morally challenged Republican politicians to cling desperately to the MAGA brand as a survival strategy, like barnacles affixed to the tail fin of a giant baleen whale. Even among this motley assortment — remember the “black Nazi” who Trump strongarmed Republicans into nominating for North Carolina governor last year? — Ken Paxton somehow manages to stand out for his sleaze and corruption.

Paxton actually came to power riding the coattails of a different movement from a different era: He was first elected as Texas attorney general during the second (and final) Tea Party “wave” election of the Obama years. Then in 2015, he was promptly arrested and indicted for securities fraud. After delaying the case for nearly a decade, he finally pled out in 2024, agreeing to pay $300,000 in restitution and perform 200 hours of community service. In the meantime, seven of Paxton’s top aides filed an official HR complaint in 2020 with the Texas state government, accusing Paxton of accepting bribes, abusing his office, and forcing the state AG’s office to employ his mistress. After Paxton fired most of them, the government of Texas was forced to pay them over $3.3 million in whistleblower damages after the court found their claims to be credible.

What is this man even doing in office? Well, he has decent retail political skills, for one thing. In addition, Paxton has survived to date because he has been extremely lucky in both his electoral timing (his only close shave was in 2018) and in his choice of opponents — Paxton might have faced a tough primary challenge against anyone but a Bush family member in 2022. But his success primarily comes from embodying the MAGA political style more vociferously than any of his Republican rivals: Few in the state have hugged Donald Trump more closely. Paxton is a loud, vulgar, proud populist, and while he is not guaranteed to lose the Senate race in Texas for Republicans next year, he may be the only man in the state who could.

Until next week.