ABC News just did a special report on the news that will come out of the president’s speech at 1:45, presumably so it doesn’t have to air the president’s speech. Because, you know, he’s only the president of the United States and all, so why should America listen to him when, instead, it can hear Amanda professing her love for Jonathan? And see Babe and J.R. make whoopie?

What a great call, ABC!