just spent five days in Canada, where I experienced many delights, not least dealing with Canadians themselves. But the deeply impacted mania of Canada’s language and cultural policies had me writing possible ledes for the Globe and Mail. “Canadian Premier Donald McDonald announced yesterday that Quebec and Montreal would be renamed Wolfetown and Pittville, respectively, and that the use of spoken or written French would be punishable by ten years hard labor. ‘We tried being nice, and that didn’t work, eh?’ said McDonald. ‘Time for something different.’”