This is my translation of an actual Cuban joke forwarded to me by a Mexican diplomat in Washington.

On a recent visit to Cuba, Vladimir Putin found that most Cubans’ shoes have holes in them, and so he asked Fidel, “Oye chico, how is this possible after 40 years of ’progress’?”

Annoyed, Fidel answers, “And what about Russia? Have you done any better?”

Putin says, “Ombe, When you want I’ll invite you to Russia and if you find a single person with ripped-up shoes you have permission to kill him. No problems.”

They got on Putin’s plane and went to Russia. As soon as Fidel got off the plane, the first thing he saw was someone whose shoes were all ripped up, and so he grabbed his pistol and BOOM! killed him.

The following day, Russian newspapers carried this banner headline: “Old Bearded Man Kills Cuban Ambassador in Moscow Airport.”