K-Lo, you could create a whole list of threats to subscribe to NR Digital or else:

Or else Rich Lowry will blind you by wearing a white dress shirt on TV instead of those earth tones.

Or else Jonah Goldberg will write dry, earnest pieces without an ounce of humor or free association.

Or else Cosmo will declare a detente with squirrels.

Or else Ramesh Ponnuru will see eye to eye with Reason magazine.

Or else Rod Dreher will give up granola and espouse the virtues of processed whey products.

Maybe even: Or else Kathryn Jean Lopez will take long naps and horrendously long lunches…and ignore the Corner.