In the midst of the Alito hearings, observers noted a strange moving “protuberance” underneath the nominee’s shirt. During Senator Dick Durbin’s (D-Illinois) comments the bump suddenly burst out of the nominee’s now bloody shirt and, according to several eye witnesses, a shrieking, feral-toothed James Carville emerged and ran out of the room.

“It was like that scene in Alien,” commented a clearly giddy but shocked Senator Kennedy. “I loved it.”