The Rise of the Birds has begun.

This story about a very smart talking bird appears to be about 18 months old, which is both good and bad. Good because our government has had time to make secret plans for the coming Bird Wars, and bad because obviously a massive media cover-up has kept this story from causing nationwide panic. We’ll have to move fast now — first piece of business is to stop the shooting of feral cats in Wisconsin.

Clearly, the cats will be a strong ally in what will be an asymmetrical war. Not since Epaminondas defeated the Spartans at Leuctra will there be such a need for steely military men of will.

(Sorry, VDH, but I have dying to do that.)