Actually, that makes me think. What are the things they could find on Mars that would either be too big to report because of the mass-panic that would set in or so big that Americans would immediately assume the government was making it all up like in Capricorn One. Here are some possibilities:

• The Bible, a Crucifix or the Koran would definitely cause lots of folks to stock up on bottled water.

• Weapons of Mass Destruction — with Iraqi lettering on them.

• A happily married gay couple.

• A Starbucks

• The Canadian flag.