I see. I see a man. An unhappy man. He is confused and in misery. He is in torment, a lost soul. He is being led astray by the left-wing media. The globe grows clouded; I must gaze deeper. Wait! I see — a magazine. A bold magazine. It is filled with clarity and wisdom and wit and. And no liberal bias! It is filled with articles of distinction. The cover is getting clearer, clearer. It reads “NATIONAL REVIEW.” Such a beautiful magazine. Now Madame Esmerelda sees the confused, lost, tormented man taking it from his mailbox. Now he is reading it. He is — SMILING! He is saying “I am so glad I took advantage of the offer to receive four FREE issues of National Review.” The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. Alas, my crystal ball is fading. Wait — it is seeking to tell Madame Esmerelda one last thing. Ahhh — “Click here to receive your free issues.”