A reader: “Do you give up your seat to ladies on the subway?”

As unostentatiously as I can. My rules are:

(1) If I enter a subway car (or bus–when I have time on my hands in NYC, I take a bus–it’s MUCH more civilized, only a lot slower) and there are any ladies standing, I do not sit down.

(2) If there are no ladies standing, and seats are empty, and I’m going more than a couple of stops, I sit.

(3) If I’m sitting, all the other seats fill up, and a lady gets on, I get up and go stand by one of the doors, choosing my direction so that the lady has the optimum chance to take my seat. I do not say or signal anything, as that is asking for trouble. If she’s a feminist, I would get a dirty look, if not a sarcastic remark (if not a sock on the jaw–feminists have come a long way, baby). This being New York City, a man will often beat her to my vacated seat, but that’s not my fault. One can only do so much.

Thank you for reading this. Now, if it’s not too much trouble, please read my column on manners.