From the Onion:

Suicide Letter Full Of Simpsons References
STORRS, CT—University of Connecticut sophomore Aaron Bennett, 20, was found dead of an apparent sleeping-pill overdose in his campus-area apartment Saturday, a suicide note riddled with references to the popular TV show The Simpsons on his desk.
Bennett appears happy in a March photo taken in his bedroom.
“Outwardly, Aaron seemed like a gentle, quiet, stable person,” dean of students Kathleen Ernst said Monday. “But clearly, he must have had a darker, troubled side that he kept hidden. The only thing we can be certain of is that, to the very end, he really knew his Simpsons.”
Friends and family are struggling to comprehend the dean’s-list chemistry major’s motivation for taking his own life, as outlined in the three-page suicide letter.
“When death comes so suddenly, it can seem incomprehensible,” Ernst said. “It certainly doesn’t help matters that Aaron’s note begins, ‘No banging your head on the display case, please. It contains a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide.’ How do you even begin to explain something like that to his parents?”
Bennett’s cousin, Tracy Hogg, said she did not know that the young man was despondent, but did know that he was a big Simpsons fan….[There’s more…]