For fans of the Grim Reaper’s sports pages, there’s been another classic obituary from the Daily Telegraph. Here’s an extract, but read the whole thing.

“The 10th Earl of Shaftesbury, whose death aged 66 was confirmed yesterday, demonstrated the dangers of the possession of inherited wealth coupled with a weakness for women and Champagne… It was said, after his mysterious disappearance from a Cannes nightclub, that the 10th Earl, like Gladstone, had been devoting himself to helping vulnerable young girls working in nightspots on the French Riviera to start new lives. But as the mystery deepened, it seemed that his interest was more than merely philanthropic. Indeed, Lord Shaftesbury had always exhibited a weakness for exotic women. At Eton he had famously penned an article for the college magazine in which he described English debutantes as “round-shouldered, unsophisticated garglers of pink champagne”. His subsequent amorous career was notable for his avoidance of the species… [After the collapse of his second marriage in] 2000 he embarked on a string of short-lived and expensive love affairs with younger women distinguished by their exotic looks and equally colourful past histories. He became a familiar figure in some of the loucher nightspots on the French Riviera, where he cut a curious figure in leather trousers, pink shirts and large red-and-black spectacles; he was notable for his habit of flashing his money around as he bought drinks for a succession of nubile female companions.”

Splendid.

Sterner sorts will note that he came to an unfortunate end.