An e-mail:

I am sure that many read Maria Eftimiades article and sympathized with her situation and decision. I do too, but for a different reason than most.
This article is the story of two victims. First, John, a human being that has not been allowed to reach his potential. Second, Maria, a human being that has been victimized by a culture that values choice above life, especially a life that is not considered perfect.
It is clear by the guilt in Maria’s own words that she is a victim. Let me give you a few examples:
1) Considering miscarriage as a way to hide her decision.
2) Referring to people as “funny” who might question her decision.
3) Her “knowing” that John is “retarded, perhaps profoundly” and referring to Down Syndrome as a severe disability” when she could not possibly know John’s future potential.
4) Determining that raising a child with a disability is a “painful journey.”
5) Her missing of John.
6) Her “luck” that no one at the hospital knew what she was doing.
7) Her choice to write a letter to a sympathetic editorial page.
One of the storylines last week on Nip/Tuck involved a young man that wanted to change his appearance so that he looked more like his family. The actor played his part with skill, vigor and professionalism. This young man happened to have Down Syndrome.
As a parent of a child with Down Syndrome I am often complimented for doing my job as a parent. This is because our culture assumes, like Maria, that it is a painful journey. This conclusion, like so many other things accepted by our culture is dead wrong.
I believe that raising a child with a disability is very similar to raising any child, only the highs are higher and the lows are lower. There are few greater joys in life than watching your disabled child accomplish things no one expected. There are few greater sadnesses than dealing with health issues that are often associated with a disabled child. But aren’t the highs and lows, the intense emotional experiences what makes life worth living? Unfortunately for Maria she will never know how John would have enriched her life.
As I watched the news last night I learned that the Yellowstone Grizzly Bear may come off the endangered species list and listened to the outrage from people afraid that we may lose this species. In todays America, we are aborting most fetuses with Down Syndrome. We are effectively eliminating human beings with Down Syndrome from our population. Where is the outrage?