The Corner

Eurovision – The Post-Mortem

From the Guardian:

“Louis Walsh, a judge on the ITV talent show Popstars and a veteran pop band manager, said: “It’s like somebody went into Boots [a pharmacy chain], found the first person they saw behind the counter, asked them if they could sing and they said ‘no’, but they picked them anyway…

Meanwhile, Jemini embarked on an intensive period of promotion for their losing record, which is released today. With Britain’s famed capacity to favour the underdog, their failure may yet be the key to future success; coming last may prove much more lucrative than finishing third or fourth.

The group’s female member, Gemma Abbey, said: “Nul points – there you go, maybe that’s what we should change our name to.”

The Guardian’s report also contains a brief survey of previous entrants that have failed to score any points. Amongst the low lights a Belgian singer by the name of Fud Leclercq (no laughing in the back of the class, yes, Jonah, that means you), a Finn called Kojo who sang an environmentalist ditty while hitting himself on the head, a habit that may have explained his political beliefs in the first place. Swiss tap-dancer Gunvor Guggisberg was awarded nul points for his efforts in 1998, but Norway retains its role as the land of Eurovision strike outs, the “most notorious” of their four nul-pointers was, according to the Guardian, “Jahn Teigen, who in 1978 performed a song called Mile After Mile. His routine included doing the splits in mid-air while snapping his braces. Teigen called his Eurovision failure “the proudest moment of my life” and anticipated it would make him a star. It did not and he now owns a brewery.”

Well, there are worse fates.

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