Columbia University, the alma mater of President Obama and myself, is outstanding in many areas, but football isn’t one of them. Their last win of any note came in 1947; a few decades ago, they had a 44-game losing streak; and last year they lost every game they played, by an average score of 40–7.

This year hasn’t started out much better, with losses by 49–7, 42–7, and 61–28. Then last weekend the team went down to Philadelphia and lost to Penn — but the score was only 31–7, which not only is borderline respectable but is the third straight week of losses by fewer points than the week before. In response, there was jubilation in the streets of Morningside Heights.

Okay, maybe that last sentence isn’t true. But you can see where President Obama may have gotten the idea to celebrate his reduction of the federal deficit to a mere $1,500 for every man, woman, and child in the United States.