The new film of H2G2G (is that how the nerds do it?) is not good.

Even my kids, who love everything (cf. Baby Geniuses II, The Master of

Disguise, and 90 minutes of exquisite torture called Yu-Gi-Oh: The

Movie) were bored. My 11-year-old’s four word review: “What was that

about?”

I read the books years ago and enjoyed them, as I did Douglas Adams’

other writing. But what makes his novels so breezy and fun is Adams

himself, his light voice, his digressions and asides. Something about

that doesn’t translate well to a visual medium, almost the same way no

one’s ever been able to capture Thurber well outside of the page.

When we first encounter a Babelfish early on in Hitchhiker the book,

we’re astounded by the invention — of course, you’d need some way to

understand all the other languages. In the movie, it’s just a squishy

Henson-created fish being jammed into an unhappy man’s ear.

Then there’s this: maybe I’m paranoid, but Sam Rockwell plays Zaphod

Beeblebrox, who has recently been elected President of the galaxy

despite being notoriously stupid because he is charming and likable.

Rockwell renders this charming but stupid leader with a distinctly

familiar Texas twang.