quite a defense. He didn’t just find a penny, you see. This, from a reader in New Jersey:

K-Lo – as unimportant as this is in the large scheme, I feel compelled to defend Mr. Simpson’s reputation. He’s slow, boorish, and generally inept, but he loves his family dearly.
His best day starts with him sleeping in on Sunday, cooking himself Moon Waffles (key step – wrap whole stick of butter in waffle before consuming like a burrito), and watching the most exciting play in football history, a triple-reverse double-lateral kickoff return (if memory serves me correctly). That’s when he spikes his beer and finds the penny. It’s the capper, not the cause, of the Best Day Ever.
Anyway, that’s been burdening my brain cells for years. Thanks for letting me share.