A heavy-laden reader:

“Dear Derb–While I can’t argue for or against Lincoln or Caesar, speaking as someone who has been a bachelor and is now married with two small girls I can say with great confidence: it is the homosexual who, acting throughout history, has provided most if not all of the progress. Why? No married father has the excess resources (not monetary, mental, nor temporal) to do more than subsist. Only homosexuals have those three surpluses necessary to innovate.
“Yours in tragic heterosexuality,
“[Name]“

[Derb] I know exactly how you feel, Sir. In an age when only the seriously rich have a good complement of domestic servants, homosexuals have a big edge over us breeders in the matter of GETTING THINGS DONE. They have way more time on their hands. They even have an edge over single heterosexuals, who have to waste endless amounts of time conducting and preparing for courtship. Unless I have been seriously misinformed, homosexual courtship lasts about twenty seconds.