An e-mail:

Ms. Lopez,
You should note that the ESPN index is at least logical and traditional in its correlation between scoring and what it seeks to measure. A zero on the Kerry Misery Index signifies unimaginable, horrific depths of misery while a zero on the ESPN Misery Index indicates a complete absence of misery. Which do you think is going to make more sense in a soundbite?
Kerry: “And I say to you, my fellow Americans, that we have reached an all-time low on the Misery Index.”
Public: “Yay, misery is at an all-time low!”
Kerry: “No, no, a low score is bad.”
Public: “Uh, then why isn’t it called the Happiness Index?”