How is this possible? My nickname, seized by Douglas Coupland, inventor of the term “Generation X,” for the title of his new novel?

Especially one described thus: “JPod’s universe is amoral and shameless. The characters are products of their era even as they’re creating it. Everybody in Ethan’s life inhabits a moral grey zone.

Nobody is exempt, not even his seemingly straitlaced parents….”

Amoral and shameless? What is this, an Andrew Sullivan blog post about waterboarding?

As the possessor of one of the unlikeliest first-name-last-name combinations in world history, I never expected to become an emoticon for the 21st century. No good can come of this. Well, maybe this will get me off the stick, force me to change my e-mail address and be referred to as “JohnnyPod.” But what’s even worse is that I’m going to have to read the thing, even though Coupland has wasted an immense amount of my time in the past with his catchy but useless novels (save for the funny one about Microsoft, but I’m not going to tell you the name of it because I don’t want you GIVING THIS MAN ANYTHING BUT YOUR SCORN! And bonus trivia points for anyone who gets the extremely obscure reference I made just now.)