All day long yesterday, I had to listen to people discuss “Black Friday.”

As a black man, I must confess, this made me . . . uncomfortable.

Why Black Friday? Do the abundant retail deals mean that black people don’t have the money to pay regular prices? Or, even worse, is some group of racists saying that black people are just too damn cheap to go shopping until prices have been slashed to the bone?

Rumor has it that Black Friday is the day when turkey-stuffed consumers flood retail stores, drain their wallets, and, thus, turn shop owners’ red ink black. But this story sounds to me like a convenient Caucasian cover-up.

Regardless, this makes me so angry that I barely can move! In fact, I think I will sit right here in my apartment and boil in a Vesuvian rage until lunchtime on Monday.

So, in case anyone else is as deeply offended as I am, I suggest that we follow the advice of Manhattan-based free-market activist Tama Starr. She proposes that we call the day after Thanksgiving “Friday of Color.”

Brilliant! Friday of Color would not disparage blacks. So, blacks should not be insulted. In fact, Friday of Color celebrates diversity and includes everyone: browns, yellows, and — OK, why not? — even whites! This assumes, of course, that white is a color rather than the absence of color. In the generous spirit of the season, let’s go ahead and make that assumption.

So, let’s make yesterday the final Black Friday and November 27, 2015, America’s first Friday of Color.

A red-letter date, indeed!