We’re working on a show where Jim has an enormous emotional explosion

and busts up his office (humorously) with a baseball bat.

Me: We could set up early in the story that Jim is an emotional

volcano. And (his wife) Cheryl is… (SEARCHES FOR WORDS) an

airborne volcano lancing laser.

Several people stare at me blankly.

Chris, the Beloved (formerly Annoying) Friend: Our ratings would spike

in the People Who Read the Corner demographic.

Several people stare at him blankly.

A writer: Are you two speaking some sort of Bush-lovers code?

Me: (CAUGHT) Yes.

I went on to explain and then defend the concept of lancing volcanoes

with lasers from the air. One woman seemed to think it could destroy

the Earth entirely. Another man said it wouldn’t work. I argued

vehemently that it couldn’t hurt, especially if it were tried in a

location nowhere near me.

I will have another chance next week when we shoot the scene.